I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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