it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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