What a fucking waste of an outfit
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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