After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
