A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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