Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
