No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Be still, my beating vagina.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
