..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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