If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
