There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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