i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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