so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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