I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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