No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
