i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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