You made me cry and you don't even care
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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