I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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