Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
