Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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