come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize