please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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