im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
