Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
