I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
