I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
