John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
