Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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