Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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