I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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