we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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