So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
