threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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