Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
