Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
