So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the day after is always just damage control
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am naked and annoyed.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
