I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
