Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
