If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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