Please, let me fuck your mom
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
