Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
