That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You are the jesus of drinking
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
