I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
