he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
