I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
