I have demons in me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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