Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
