Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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