We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
