He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
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