yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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