i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
