You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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