Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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