Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
