I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
