let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
