I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
