I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
